I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
