I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
