You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
