yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
