We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
