Do you still have your period?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
