I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
