no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
