You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
