so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
