does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize