They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Be still, my beating vagina.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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