I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
You took a bar mat shot.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
