i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
