It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
