Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Randomize
