They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
