Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
