The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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