She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
