i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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