Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
