when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
