And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
i think my cat just said my name.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize