Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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