I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize