I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
