hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
