i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize