I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
His nipple licking is glorious
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