let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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