i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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