I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
there is puke in my bra ... again
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
