The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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