I heard we made out
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
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