Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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