you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize