Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Even my vagina gasped.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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