Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i drank out of a bidet.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
did you just send me my own nude
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
