I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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