I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
