just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
