do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
