Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
