its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
