so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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