Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
