I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
