That's intense
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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