My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize
