Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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