We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize