imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
