I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
