Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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