I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Houston, we have a blender
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
