I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
