So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
