Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
