the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
