I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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