so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
