I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
