so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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