her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
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