check it out our google latitudes are spooning
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
