Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
