I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize