fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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