Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
