Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize