yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize