You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
