He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
